I remember a few years ago when my kiddos were about 4 and 2 years old we had to make a pit stop to the grocery store. Both kids were extremely tired and oh so very cranky! Nothing I did made them happy. Ever felt that way? This mama was frustrated and exhausted.
The way I felt must have been written across my face and I was on the verge of exploding. A lady who appeared to be in her mid to late 60’s stepped over in my direction, leaned in, and said, “you’ll miss these moments!”
I could have screamed but I held it in except for the expression on my face. It must have been the look of complete disgust because that lady quickly moved her buggy and herself away.
Afterwards I felt horrible and couldn’t imagine what she thought about me. However later that night I thought to myself, “I’m not going to miss these moments of crankiness and screaming from my kiddos! I’m not going to miss the whining and the exhaustion I felt not being able to get things right! And that should be ok!”
I am however going to miss those times when my children want to crawl up in my lap and snuggle for hours. Those times when they squeeze me so tight and say, “I love you, mommy!” I’m going to miss those belly laughs during our infamous tickle fights. All those times when they would make faces at the camera when I was trying to take a picture. Those are the moments this mommy is going to miss.
I know the lady in the store meant no harm in what she said and I’m sure she misses certain moments as a mommy with her already grown children. But I keep thinking, why can’t we as women make sure we are lifting these new moms up in ways that encourages them instead of remarks that either infuriate them or discourages them during these struggling moments?
The next time you come across a young mom in the store who appears to be frustrated and exhausted because she has 2-3 young children either crying or misbehaving just put on your most encouraging smile and say to her, “You’re doing great, Mama!” That’s all any of us moms want is to feel like we are doing a good job when it comes to our children.